Pucca # 5

Dulu I pernah buat sekali. Pastu kelakar sungguh when this friend send sms to me. It took me few minutes for me to think sapakah ini... Hahahha.. padan muka!

This time, I rename balik his name. Same nick name like before.. Harap-harap boleh remained it for quite a long time.

Pucca # 4

Kerja gila. Time solat tadi, boleh terfikir my looooooong speech for this friend. Already make some draft but better I don't write it down sebab I akan revise it all the time.

Not good! Not good!

Tulah problem bila my memory bank is too powerful :'(

Pucca # 3

Harap-harap hati aku kali ni bagi kerjasama yang memuaskan. Sebab nak bagi ianya keras and perkasa sedikit. Tak nak macam dulu-dulu yang asyik tersungkur di tengah jalan sebab tak sampai hati. Sudahnya, merana sendiri!!

Go Pucca Go!! You can do it!!

Pucca # 2

Hari tu baca tweets bro Achmed. Pastu terjumpa plak yang ini. Wah.... biar betul? I did so many times and Thank God, setakat ini,  I always dapat good response from him. He did the same thing also. Being a soft hearted, I never let people down. Tengah marah macam mana pun, mesti tak sampai hati nak ignore.

Tapikan, I'm not sure in future. Waduh, stress!!!

By the way, I dalam proses meng'idle'kan diri. Merajuk and kecil hati sebab kena 'sebijik' tanpa sebab semalam.

Pucca # 1

Benci betul dengan one of my friend ni. I memang pelik why he like to scold me without any reason. Sometimes I terfikir juga...dia buat macam ni tak dengan his kawan yang lain.

Mari menulis

Sometimes I ada macam-macam benda nak cakap, tapi tak sure ada orang nak baca ke tidak kan. Lantaklah kan. Yang penting, I need to write it down. Nak tulis kat FB umpama menjerut leher sendiri. Sebab I tak nak orang yang kenal I tahu pasal segala benda tok nenek yang happened to my life. And we'll know kan kat FB tu ramai stalker. 

Nak merepek and meroyan kat Twitter pun tak boleh sebab selain strangers, my Lil Sis was there. Pulak tu I suspect BB has already traced my Twitter's profile. Ini kerana last week, a day after I meroyan habis kat Twitter, elok je esoknya he asked me what happened. I pulak buat lawak cakap betul ke he sensed something not okay with me? And when his answer is Yes, aiseyman... terus I dah rasa tak best. Now, nak meroyan kat situ kena light-light saja. No maki hamun dah... hahahahh!!

Actually and seriously, I need to write it down apa-apa benda yang buat I stress. And the best medium is here. In this blog. Sebab my profile is anonymous and memang tiada sapa kenal I (agaknyalah...). I memang  sungguh stress dengan my life, everything, except my family. 

From now on, kalau I nak meroyan light-light, I will do it here. But with  short entry jelah... 

A "PING"

Mesti best kan kalau kita ada somebody yang boleh share apa saja.. I mean, time kita terfikir of A, see nice thing or eat super marvelous food dan dan tu kita akan Whatspp / BBM / Gtalk with the person. Mulalah cerita pasal benda tu… And heavennya kalau dapat partner yang 2 X 5. I mean yang layan kita jugak.

I teringin nak buat macam tu dengan STM. We did few times tapi banyaknya start with STM sendiri. I ni sometimes think too much bila nak share apa-apa dengan dia. Fikir tu like “Dia tengah busy ke, tengah meeting ke.. or worse, tengah bad mood ke”. I am not sure how his friends layan dia tapi setakat ini, after few years I masih lagi ada simpan rasa thinking too much tu. Knowing his unexpected mood, lagilah….

Memang teringin sesangat nak share apa-apa dengan STM tu. I tahu I always got Si Cantik all the time, but the excitement is different. Still ada excitement tapi the level itu, tak reach to the maximum. Faham ke? Heheheheh…

Banyak benda I simpan untuk share dengan STM. Macam-macamlah… especially when I read peoples’ tweets. Pasal office pun ada jugak. Ada gambar best juga yang I simpan. Tapi tulah, dulu-dulu dia dah pernah warning kat I yang I must be very careful when select a topic to talk with him. Hmmm.. :-( Kalau salah cakap, habislah I. Can you imagine, even I nak ‘ping’ STM for morning greeting pun I fikir few times.. Too bad kan?

Sometimes, I nak share dengan BB, tapi this friend macam chipsmore pulak. I knew he always there for me, but things are different now.. Entahlah…

Refer to my previous post, I memang perlukan somebody.. lagilah dengan keadaan I yang seakan dipulaukan secara halus ini.  It is true Allah itu sentiasa ada disamping kita, but as a human being, I need someone else and I’m not perfect! Tipulah kalau ada orang boleh hidup tanpa kawan. I memanglah boleh so far sebab this 'lonely' situation telah berlaku for almost a year. Tapi, perasan benda ni tak akan lama.

You know, the best moment that can cheer up my mood for the whole day adalah bila I dapat ‘ping’ from STM or BB. Macam heaven sahaja!! Both are ‘something’ to my life..mana taknya, macam-macam big hal jadi to my life because of them. So memang effect from them lebih sikit.

Print scree from Twitter
Sangat betul!!

Tapikan, maybe benda ni akan change bila I have someone ‘special’ in my life. Maybe the feeling is different. Maybe the gatal feeling lebih to that person compared to them. Hahahahaah… Kita tak tahu kan?

STM, can you always be my bright sun, bright star and bright moon?

And for BB, I want you to be the brighter one :-)

(Note: Entry yang hapahapantah…. Anyway, mesti you'll pernah terdetik, adakah I ni memang ada hati dengan STM? Will let you know!!)

Menang dan Benar

Sejak hidup I ‘dimusnahkan’ oleh Diva, banyak benda yang mengubah hidup I. Yang paling ketara, tiada lagi honest smile from me. From the moment she won the situation, I always give a fake smile to people. Sorry and memang tak patut I buat macam tu, tapi apakan terdaya, I tiada option lain.

Perkara kedua, I mula pilih kawan. In office, only few people I can talk and laugh. Tu pun I masih kena very selective. Sebab mulut I ni sometimes, macam kena push “ON” button. Ada je benda yang I nak cerita. But, nasib baiklah, I start to control myself.

Perkara ketiga yang utamanya, I makin mendekatkan diri dengan Allah. I knew some people will take it as cliché. Mana taknya, dah terhantuk baru nak terngadah. Dah kena baru ingat Tuhan. Yes, I admit that but somehow we must take it as positive effect. Bila I start buat benda ni, jiwa tenang. Kepala tak pening, especially dengan people’s problem yang seperti no end.

Trust me. Ketenangan jiwa itu memang mudah dicari. I took a step to change sejak I baca tulisan Dr. MAZA yang ini. I love his writings sebab lebih open and mudah difahami especially untuk golongan professional macam I ni. As a professional, we want to read something ‘lighter’ especially when you write about Islam. Islam itu mudah and with this kind of writing, lagi senang nak memupuk keimanan and memimpin umat Islam di zaman ini. (Note:This is my personal opinion. I cakap sebab I sendiri yang mengalaminya)

I tahu Diva sekarang amat gembira sebab I macam dah tiada kawan. Semua orang beralih to her. Well, I tak kisah. Masa mula-mula jadi hal, my Mom selalu pesan, diam tu jalan terbaik sebab orang akan tak nampak anda bersalah. Yes, my Mom is right sebab Diva took this step. She never say anything masa isu kami bermula. I pulak the other way. Orang tanya, I jawab. I memang jenis outspoken. Berani kerana benar, kan? At that moment, I never think that in the end I got all the blame. (I will tell you in details about this later).

Takpelah… I selalu ingatkan diri sendiri. Kita tak perlu MENANG dan nampak BENAR di mata manusia kerana benda ini hanya sementara. Yang penting, kita perlu MENANG and BENAR di mata ALLAH. Itu yang hakiki. Apa yang berlaku, I took it as “kifarah” dosa I yang lampau. Kemungkinan masa I serviced my previous company, I ada buat silap pada staff di sana yang I sendiri tak perasan and orang itu mungkin kecil hati. Yelah, I left the company pun without any words. Just make it official by informing respective bosses je.

Apa-apapun, Alhamdulillah, I ada nampak the bright side. I mean, the KARMA is now happened.