Wrote on 11/4/2016 (tapi dok terperap dalam Draft folder)
Setelah fikir masak-masak, I think macam tiada faedahnya I mengharapkan sesuatu from KN. I pun kekadang tak faham sangat respond dia. Sometimes okay, sometimes he just gave me his cold shoulder. Sangat menyampah betul. Ntahlah, maybe kan dia memang tak de hati langsung kot kat I... Iyelah..tetiba approach dia kan ... Or dia ada someone else? Kalau dia tak bagi tahu pasal dia dah ada orang lain, macam manalah I nak tahu kan..Or maybe dia takut nak bagi new commitment, after what he had go through with his ex-wife earlier? Ntahlah...
So, sebab I pun tak nak pening-pening kepala..tak nak buang saat untuk scroll his Whatsapp status, baca his last messages.. so, better delete terus nombor dia. Habis cerita. Whatsapp history pun dah I delete. No conversation left. Tapi, I print screen dulu siap-siap the contact number of him which I save his number, his second number and also his home address before I delete. Takut terlupa sebab memang tak record kat mana-mana...
Haiya...still pathetic of me kan...
Status today (5/5/16)
Almost a month...
End of last month, I got a wedding invitation from my current course mate (AS), nun jauh di Melaka. Tetiba I terfikir jugak macam nak ajak KN.. Uishh...beraninya pulak kan..Keluar sekali pun tak pernah. Pastu benda ni I lupa sebab sibuk siapkan my assignment. I asked AI earlier (last 2 weeks kot) yang dia pergi ke tidak to AS wedding and he said yes because he already plan with his family sebab nak buat some family activity jugak while they reach Melaka later. So, I pun dah macam 20:80 nak pergi tu. 80% tu banyak untuk tak nak pergi.
Then since semalam, I tefikir the idea again to ajak KN to temankan I pergi. Ntah, tetiba je pulak. Or maybe sebab I just watched drama scene of Duda Terlajak Laris dimana Zack beria-ia nak go outing with Anis and Inas (his janda). He just tried his luck based on his friend's recommendation. Tapi macam tak kot I terfikir my idea tu sebab drama ni...pfffttt...
So, today I beranikan diri ajak KN..ni pun after he respond to my "Hai" whatsapp last night which he only respond this morning. He said okay but he can't promise anything now. Lagipun, weekend memang giliran dia pulak bersama his kids.
Tapi...
Tapi...
Tapi...
Tapi...
I takut if he rejects je sebenarnya.... hopefully not lah...:-(
Ya Allah... please grant this wish for me...Ameenn!!!
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