Forgiveness

I only need their forgiveness....

This Raya, 1433 Hijrah, I hanya need betul-betul kemaafan dari these people sahaja... 

(1) My parents

(2) My sibling

(3) STM

Why? 

Kalau ikut sifir kemaafan di hari raya, people will asked forgiveness from all. But, in my case lain sikit,,, 

A lot of people hurt me more than they should. Agak-agaklah kan kalau nak sakitkan hati orang. I can accept orang kutuk-kutuk, kata-kata benda yang fakta but when apa yang diaorang cakap itu tidak benar, tak nak pulak counter clarify, then involved pulak second person, I can't tolerate more. Pastu, boleh buat-buat macam biasa. Do they know, malaikat itu menjalankan tugas pada setiap detik? Ke diaorang rasa diaorang tu part time malaikat?

(1) and (2) adalah wajib untuk meminta maaf dan memohon maaf dari mereka. Tak masuk syurga kalau tak sempat mohon maaf, especially to our own parents. Actually, tak perlu tunggu raya. Setiap detik bila kita terasa, kita sepatutnya memohon ampun dan maaf...Sometimes, we don't realized our small action give a big impact to them... Apa-pun, adalah lebih baik kita berfikir beribu-ribu berjuta-juta kali sebelum cuba untuk menumpahkan airmata ibubapa kita..or mengguris perasaan mereka kan,,

Untuk yang (3), I tak taulah why I need STM forgiveness...Kalau ikut my diary, STM lebih banyak sakitkan hati I. Yes, STM lebih banyak buat tau...Sometimes I terfikir juga... STM ni memang sengaja atau tidak sengaja... 

Tapi, tahun ini kami memang banyak bergaduh and benda ni I tak pernah buat sepanjang hidup I berkawan dengan orang..

Things that I will always regret...

How I wish to turn back the time.. :-(

Apa-apapun, untuk STM 

"Walaupun kamu suka sakitkan hati aku beribu-ribu kali..aku selalu berdoa kepada Tuhan, bahawa satu hari nanti, Tuhan akan tunjukkan pada kamu kebenaran dan keikhlasan dari kata-kata aku kepada kamu selama ini. Prinsip aku, sekali aku memberi tanda persahabatan, aku memang akan ikhlas bersahabat untuk selama-lamanya. Kerana itulah aku akan sentiasa berada di sisi kamu, tidak kira susah atau senang dan samada kamu mengetahuinya atau tidak. Insya Allah"

........ and I already made these promises to myself long time ago without regretting it.

Ketupat

For this raya, my mum nak buat ketupat. Nak anyam sendiri and beria told my dad no more ketupat plastik (nasi himpit) this time. My mum nak makan ketupat original, which ada rasa original flavor..
Yang tak bestnya, my mum je yanga pandai anyam.. I memang tau makan saja..kerja-kerja berseni ni memang out sikit... sambil2 anyam tu, my mum citerlah..
Mom: Dulu-dulu, kita orang tunggang- langgang kena belajar anyam ketupat
Me: Kenapa pulak?
Mom: Orang-orang tua dulu kata, kalau tak pandai anyam ketupat, nanti tak jumpa jalan ke syurga.
Me: Haaa?

Aduyai...memang funny sungguh..tapi fikir positive side, bagus jugak. At least, boleh membina kesungguhan untuk anak-anak dara zaman tu untuk belajar mengayam.

BP

Today is my bad day... Wake up early in the morning with very very bad headache. Looks like my brain will explode :-(. I took a pain killer then sleep like a dead angel.
But, sampai tengah hari still not okay. Pain from one side now move to centre. Petang sikit baru managed to go to clinic. Hasilnya adalah, my blood pressure (BP) increase. 
Selalunya migraine biasa je. Makan pain killer pastu okay.
Rupa-rupanya kali ini adalah lagi teruk.. Effected my BP sekali.

Doc asked me.." Are you stress?"
Me... pause a while then answered her "Ye kot"

Hemmm..mana taknya...I've been thinking a lot about STM. 
Semalam yang paling teruk. I cried during every prayer.
I really want our friendship back to normal. 
I wish some miracle will happen.

Kemain dia ni!

Kemain Lala ni... agak2 lah kan nak tersentap dengan I pun... Yang paling I bengang and hate her most adalah...lidah dia ada dua cabang.. Well, macam mana sekalipun, if you start telling people lies, one day people can think and find the truth.

I memang pelik dia ni... she's old...another few years before her retirement age... actually, she supposed to take care of her self..her work..and don't sibuk2 with other people business.. Oh ya..she also must take care of her 'rumah tangga' sendiri.

I hate her so much..sometimes, I try to be good to her (because of her old age), but at the back..hemmm...only God knows..

Walaupun her post is slightly hire than me, but I cannot respect her position. She is not suited at all to carry the post.. 

You don't believe this?

Yes..believe it!!

Mimpi

Old dream story but gave me sweet memory..

One fine day, I just got back from work..reached home around 6.30pm.. Waduh!! Rasa capek sungguh.. Rasanya ada 1 sebab je...jam2 terakhir tulah baru nak be a productive employee. 

Watched tv for a while, then mata pun mula melabuhkan tirai.. Konon2 nak take short nap..tapi, my short nap adalah 3 hours..3 HOURS!! Ciss!! Bertepek2 n berjuntai2 syaiton2 main buaian... missed my prayer :-(

Ok..u know what, time tido siang senja tu, boleh plak I dpt unexpected dream... I met 2 adorable persons in my dream.. Bukan mimpi yang ntah apa2 but I like it sebab it was so sweet :-)

The 1st one (Mashi) memang ada gak few times he came into my dream yg ntah apa2 (I well remembered this one..boleh pulak, at one time, dia merungut giler2 x puas hati sebab I never pay for tolls sepanjang tumpang dia balik- Not so logic, okay!!!

The 2nd person ini (Gmojo) 
Kira at that time, I adored him lebih sikit  lately especially when now dia dah ada keta chantek + besar + higher post (lempang sedas sbb feeling2 materialistik pulak dah!!)

Oh ya... mimpi siang tadi...Nak tau apa dia??? 
Me as usual baru balik from mana ntah with Mashi, sampai depan umah I saw Gmojo baru turun dari keta chantek dia and macam nak masuk into my house. Kira mcm he waited for me but when he saw me with Mashi, his face changed... 

Wah...I feeling2 jadi rebutan time tu...Hehehehe...

The rest, dah lupa what happened next :-(

2012 Wish Lists

I still keep my 2012 wish lists, yo.. 

Some of it telah pun tertunai dengan jayanya...Thank God!

1.    To be a good person to my religion - in process

2.    To be a good daughter to my parents - in process

3.    To be a good friend to my friend who need me - partly done and partly failed :-(

4.    To be a good employee to my employer - in process 

5.    To be in love and to love by someone… Chewahh..Jadi, konon2 misi mencari cinta mahu  dimulakan pada tahun 2012 - tak start lagi pun sebab a lot of thing happened recently, so malas dowh!!

6.    To buy my dream car if I have enough saving - Yayyy!!! It's completed!

7.    To guide my friend to be a good person to his/her religion - almost got the green light but now, the light dah jadi kelip2 like Ultraman's button on his chest :-(

8.    To buy new gadgets bila tangan gatal (new handphone...GPS) - partly completed

Above lists semuanya main one.. If I can fulfill all of them, it is another miracle things happened in my life. 

Well, there are many stories behind it. 

Prohibited

Lately, I realised that I makin sayang pada STM. Love as a friend. A true friend... 
Dulu-dulu kan, It never came across  my mind that I can be a friend with STM.. 
A close friend pulak tu..

Tapi tu dulu lah...with current situation, I'm not sure whether  STM still remember me 
(or recognise me) as a friend..Too many things happened between us... 

And STM always put all blames on me.. Macamlah I didn't have any feeling..

STM mesti ingat dia berkawan dengan robot which has a feeling control button... Semua feeling mesti ikut citarasa STM..

Never say 'NO' to STM...STM will not like it

'TEGUR' or 'COMPLAINT' any of STM's actions are PROHIBITED

Tapi tulah...I don't know where to stop...Should I stop kawan dengan STM?

Or just continue menajdi STM's friend, but you need to pretend like a zombie...

at the same time, I need to pray a lot that one day STM will change?

Oh God...please help me..I need your guidance :-(

Merempan

Kalau nak merempan tak tentu pasal, baik you create a blog...merempanlah puas-puas kat situ... you can write macam2 benda.. berpuluh-puluh entry pun nobody care...

No need to merempan in FB...or memenuhkan timeline orang kat Twitter..

Okay...mulai saat ini saya berjanji ..I will write as many entry as I want... (I don't mind if people read it or not)

Because, I want my FB account stated only for clear, clean and happy messages... 

And my Twitter account pulak untuk.... reading someone time line which is useful for me..