New system

Our company sekarang tengah sibuk nak migrate data back to old financial system. Memula dulu from system A to system B, But since Company B has been took over by Company C and Company C is using system A, so nak tak nak, kami as a subsidiary company kenalah follow balik. Back to old system which is system A. 

Can you imagine, kami pakai system A last time until Feb 2015, data for Feb 2015 kena manual keyed-in dalam system B sebab nak carry same balance, March 2015 until now Dec 2015, all financial data pakai system B, pastu bulan ni, kena work backdated which we have to verify balik data dalam system B since March 2015 until now sebab nak migrate balik dalam system A.. nangis jugaklah... memang kerja gila.

But since Company B ni transaction tak berapa banyak, so the focus is more on our subsidiaries which is Company BA and BC, But, they concentrate dulu dengan Company BA sebab portion of data is almost more than 95%, jadi system analyst memang nak make sure Company BA ni, data extraction and flow dia okay dulu then baru diaorang buat untuk my company.

By the way, my Boss adalah sangat annoying during this process. Kalau nak jaga nama sangat pun, he should not push, force (or whatever word) melampau staff dia yang 2 kerat tu. During the migration period, kalau diaada  office, boleh ikataknda sejam sekali he kswill as me tanya pasal status.Mula-mula tu rasa lah macam orang petingn je but lama-lama tu dah jatuh menyampah dah, 

This SMS was sent yesterday. And I tak jawab pun sebab I tau what I should done and when. I know about the dateline and so and so but come lah,.. this is not the way you treated your stuff if you have trust on them. I tau sangat dia nak jaga nama baik dia depan management baru from Company C, but, please, people ada life juga, 

Well, I know my self..I memang akan buat pun benda-benda tu......... 

(Pening nak faham kan entry kali ni.... slow-slow baca dong!!)

Masak-masak

Lama betul tak masak kat rumah. Mana taknya, weekend ada kelas and sampai dah lupa dah bila last masuk dapur. But since this week cuti lama, and mood baca buku takde lagi walaupun exam lagi 2 hari, dari buang masa tak buat apa-apa, moh lah kita masak.

Well, setiap kali habis masak, tak kisahlah masak apa saja, mesti I will tell Mak like this "Ni pass masak dah, so boleh kahwin dah kan ni?" Hehehehe... kesimpulannnya, I should get married long time ago. Masak tu memang pandai, tapi tak lah hebat sangat. Still zero in baking or even buat simple cookies and also Western foods. I tak suka google bila masak, semua ikut sense saja. 

Like today, I masak masak lemak telur and Mak suruh goreng pucuk keledek which kami tak pernah makan pun, Asalnya sayur tu, Mak salah pilih semalam because she is confidently said that it was kangkung yang selalu orang letak dalam nasi lemak tu, walaupun terang-terangan kat sticker tu tulis "Pucuk Ubi". Last-last time bayar, the cashier punched it as "Pucuk Keledek" and baru Mak admit her mistakes,but sebab tak nak mengaku kalah, boleh juga cakap rupa kangkung tu sama je macam daun tu..pfffttttt...Then, today masa nak masak, she called her friend tanya macam mana nak masak benda tu. Rupanya boleh goreng macam sayur biasa, with bawang and ikan bilis. Tadi masa Mak makan, she said, sedap saja rasanya.. 

Ni lah rupa pucuk keledek before masak

Pasal masak lemak telur tu, I memang tak pandai nak pecahkan satu-satu dalam tu. Last time (lama dah) cuba buat, but end up hancur habis. So kali ni sebab tak nak failed macam last time, kita goreng je lah dulu then baru masuk dalam kuah. The taste is still nyummy especially kalau telur tu kita goreng ada crispy-crispy sikit kat keliling tu... 

A passed birthday gift

AH promised me a gift for my birthday but he didn't. Even a wish pun tiada. Padahal beria dia note down before. I am a bit sad macam nak merajuk apa lah tapi bila fikir-fikir balik, lelaki memang macam tu kan. Dia bukan ingat date sangat especially benda-benda macam ni. He only remembered date for official meeting. Hemm, nasib badan.

This year, I decided to hide my birthday from FB. Mula-mula I changed the date to earlier date, then godek-godek nampak boleh hide pulak..Good idea..  I feel embarrassed sebab this year I rarely wish orang lain (my own friends) dalam FB tu sendiri, so rasa macam not fair if they wish me walaupun I tahu they make wish pun based on the notification received.

Lagi satu sebab, I tak suka my classmate wish me especially dalam our whatsapp group tu. Sebab ada few of them, semester ni macam sangat tak respect I as an elderly person. The girls lah. Boleh berani sound I depan-depan macam I ni kawan-kawan sebaya diaorang saja. Hemmm, tu satu nanti I make my own judgement why that person tak wish when she /he can wish to this person last time. Baik tak payah. Nanti lagi buat sakit hati je.

MM's whereabout

Last 2 nights, I had a bad dream about MM. Mula-mula tu mcm okay but end up I saw someone who is physically like him (from the back) hanging himself depan mata I. I rasa that guy tu macam selamat kot sebab beria-ia I jerit suruh orang nearby tolong selamatkan dia sebelum dia sempat masukkan kepala dia dalam tali tu. And too bad I tak tahu ending mimpi I sebab I dah bangun untuk pergi kelas. 

I rindu sebenarnya dengan MM ni. He is a good friend of mine before walaupun hujung-hujung tu, kami macam dah putus kawan. But as long as ada some communication within a year between us, I take it that we are still good. Maybe I ni sekadar hujung-hujung ingatan dia je..

By the way, since dia ni masih ada lagi I sebut dalam doa (walaupun dulu I decided not to mention his name in my doa anymore, but I lied). Mana taknya, susah lah. I tried... but setiap kali doa mesti terlintas MM ni dalam hati. And I tahu doa yang Allah makbulkan adalah doa dari seseorang utk org lain tanpa diketahui penerimanya. So, I rasa tak salah pun nak berdoa untuk dia. Moga dia sentiasa mendapat segala kebaikan, hidayah, rahmat dan kurnia dari Allah swt. Amin!! 

So, sebab I dengan MM dah tak macam dulu, I pun tak tahu how to check his condition right now. I tak rasa dia ada masalah kerjaya lagi since dia sekarang pun dah hold a senior top management post kat Company P. Masalah lain, tak sure. Rasanya macam tak ada. Sekarang ni, I rasa kalau I nak check pasal dia pun hanya boleh melalui 3 cara je (1) his Linkedin's account (2) his son's twitter account and also (3) his whatsapp status.

(1) Kalau ada Linkedin update from him >>> Alhamdulillah..he is stil live and happy at Company P

(2) If his son does not mention anything about him >>> Alhamdulillah...he is still alive and still in good term with his son (I don't follow his son tweet account but nasib baik dia tak private his account. Tapi macam nak follow saja nanti).

(3) If his Whatsapp status still ada latest status (last seen) >>>>> Alhamdulillah, his is still there.

Well, I didn't lah check on him all the time..cuma kalau teringat je... but, tipu kalau cakap I don't miss him at all. Anyway, semoga Allah membuka pintu hati MM untuk kembali melihat I ni sabagai seorang sahabat dia yang tidak pernah menghakimi beliau dalam apa jua keadaan sekalipun. Amin!!

Jerebu

Ini my friend bagi..Tak silap it was a signboard at Federal Highway

Ini dekat Perodua Glenmari, Shah Alam. My friend's office location

Ini from jendela of my office

Jerebu... this year is the second time, Malaysia kena haze yang sangat teruk. Sana sini semua orang sibuk pasal jerebu. But, some states, Alhamdulillah, tak kena pun. Kelantan one of them kalau I tak silap.

Well, cakap pasal jerebu ni, I remembered when it is happened last year. My office area is the worst during that time. Day by day, I am looking at web to check on the API level. There was an email sent to us frequently per day from the management. Updating us every 2 or 3 hours on the API level.

Nak dijadikan cerita, one day masa tu the API level was 300++, and it considered dangerous already. A strong smoke smell dalam office. The ex- Big Boss samada is taking 1/2 day leave or he went for meeting somewhere outside the office sebab dia keluar dah in the afternoon. Yang bestnya, he didn't allow us to go back early on that day. So, we need to stay until 5.00pm before semua berdesup balik awal sebab cannot stay longer. Yang I marah satu je, boleh dia minta staff dia checked on us samada okay lagi ke tidak around 4.00pm macam tu...so unprofessional okay. Nasib baik none of us ada critical illness..Memang Allah pelihara kami sungguh. Did he know bila bau asap dah mula masuk office, none of us can concentrate to do our job? We just counting time je untuk balik... Tak productive langsung pun..

I bila pasal jerebu ni memang akan teringatkan kat The Big Boss nilah..akan ingat sampai mati. His action pasal jerebu ni, somehow memang buat I menyumpah dalam hati. I tau tak baik, tapi I doa one day he will suffocated with the haze. Biar dia rasa apa yang kami rasa..

Pastu, lagi satu, kalau orang sibuk-sibuk nak kena cuti ke, sakit ke apa ke..I bagi apa tau "Alah, baru 100++ je API tu... kami last time kena stay when the level was 300++, tarak hal lah"... But, berani cakap pada diri sendiri je. Kalau depan orang, mau kena sedas balik..

Anyway, kalau boleh, just stay indoor when possible. Jaga kesihatan baik-baik.

My birthday is coming soon...

I kan dah lama kawan dengan AH, it has been almost 8 years. So, sejak I tahu bila birthday dia which is 6 years back kot, I never failed to wish him samada through email, text (sms) or whatsapp. Tapi, dia ni pulak tak pernah lah tanya bila my birthday which a bit sedih jugaklah. But, I tak kisah sangat pun sebab tahu lelaki kan selalu macam tu. For me, better dia tak tahu and tak wish dari dia tahu and lupa nak wish.

Well, since my birthday is coming soon, so first time lah I beranikan diri ask him for a gift. Hahaha, macam keji lah pulak sebabnya I sendiri tahu I tak suka dapat or minta gift. I prefer orang belanja makan sebab the treat is worth for money spend rather than beli I something tapi I tak suka. Kan ke lagi haru.

So, I am counting days now.. next je my birthday ni. Kat rumah, we just have simple celebration. Orang kat rumah already asked for Durian Cheese Cake from Secret Recipe so I dah janji nak beli. Semua tak puas hati dapat makan 1 sudu je masa my Lil Sis bought 2 pieces of Durian cake for my parents last time. Nak pau my Lil Sis again, kesian pulak. She already bought one whole carrot cake from Secret Recipe for my Big Sis birthday last month. Kopak beliau. Well, okay je for me to buy the cake for my own birthday, sebab my Dad already promised to treat us for dinner later.

Just skyping with my Lil Sis pasal ni. Sebab dah terliur bila cerita pasal kek ni, so we plan to buy it earlier rather than tunggu next week. Nyumssss!!!

New blog found

I am in love with one of new blog that I found when I read Ectopy's blog. Sama addict dah kiranya, everyday during weekdays time office hour, I without fail mesti akan buka ectopy's blog and same goes to this new blog. Ms.This-Is-Me punya blog. 

I suka baca blog dia sebab somehow akan bagi so called a motivation juga. I know she sat on one post kat senior management and she loves to share her experience when dealing with people. The Lil Sis also read her blog. Well, both of us normally will read the same blog sebab ada yang she introduced to me and vice versa. 

So, happy reading people :-)

My anniversary

Every Mid Sept will be my anniversary in this company. Suprisingly, for this year, MM sent a wish to my Linkedin to congrats me. Wah..I pun macam terkejut jugalah when receive it. 

Not sure whether he is already change (change mean = sejuk hati and matured) or I had came to his dream a night before as puntianak harum sundal malam and slapped his face... Hahahah....Which and which tak tahulah.. tapi, I ada mimpi dia earlier.. few times juga but it was a sad dream because he never speak any word to me. Sedih betul I.. He just look at me dari jauh and I did a same thing to him.. 

I wish I can meet him one day... You will never easily forget a friend who has been so kind to you before. You should not.. that's the exact words. 

A loooooong wish

Bukan main lama I prepare the ayat to send to KN sempena his birthday. Sampai ada text yang copy paste from one blog.. Nak send banyak-banyak ni bukan berani sangat pun..Takut tu pun ada juga.

Beria betul I ni...Sudahnya, banyak tu je dia reply... Hmmm... I think I am gonna stop lah wooing him for the time being. Dalam solat pun, I takde dah specific mentioned his name dalam my doa. Now hanya lintasan didalam hati je.. I tau kita kena berusaha tapi sometimes bila bab-bab yang melibatkan hati dan perasaan ini, amatlah sakit jiwa raga kalau benda tu tak seperti yang diharapkan.

The hope is still there but I don't want to make it as a priority. Sebab I rasa ada benda lain yang I rasa lebih penting) Well, kalau ada jodoh tak kemana (ayat penyedap hati ni...hahahahah)

Moga Allah permudahkan ..Aminn!!!

1 week gone

1 week gone..another 13 weeks to go before this semester end.

My class dah mula since last week. I am extremely happy because I can spend my weekend wisely. Hahahaha... Jumpa balik my course mate yang I suka especially my partner susah senang, A.I. adalah sangat best. Entahlah, when I see him, macam kehidupan sebagai part time student ini indah-indah sahaja. By the way, I jumpa balik course mate yang I tak nak jumpa especially those yang make A.I. and my life trouble. Those yang sama group dengan kami last semester. Oh my..the moment I saw their faces masa datang tu pun, on the spot my blood go upstairs. Serious.. I think I gonna have this feeling everytime I nampak mereka depan mata. Same feeling kalau everytime I nampak HO depan mata kalau di office. 

Well, for Sunday class, I still need to see them. Same goes to A.I.. Tapi nasib baik sekelas for 1 day je. Kami buat-buat relaks tapi dalam hati hanya Allah yang tahu. Now kalau dalam kelas, I just spoke to people where necessary. This semester. I met new peoples from different batch. So I noticed actually I am an easy person to talk to sebab some of them okay je borak dengan I. Baik je pun dengan I. Ntahlah, sometimes it is hard to please people especially yang suka talam dua muka ni.

Oh ya, I pun baru tahu that AN is a 'sepesen' person. Banyak bendalah I tahu from her colleague. Suka cari gaduh and cannot accept people's ability which is better than her are the critical points lah..Sangat 'sepesen' tu. Sangat emosi tidak stabil tu.  Well, thank God this semester I am no longer in a group with her. A.I. also told me last time that he don't want the same thing. Siap inform I tak nak ada kena mengena langsung pun satu. With AN and also another 2 person. 

Lantak pi lah dengan AN tu and the rest. I senang je..what comes around goes around.

My haunted bathroom

Tidaklah haunted sangat... 

My Sis and I agreed that our bathroom is berhantu. Sebabnya kalau tengah buat apa-apa aktiviti dalam tu, macam-macam idea datang. A brilliant one pula tu. Syaitan memanglah suka dok dalam bilik air, but pelik our bathroom tu. Boleh bagi banyak idea. Contohnya macam ni..

KN << I wrote about him before. Maybe the chemistry macam not so connected and I ni pula jenis malas nak menunggu. Walaupun I rasa macam I really likes him but dalam satu hal lain, I macam rasa maybe this feeling is stupid je. Sometimes, I can easily feel rendah diri when come to men which I start to close with. Lama juga baru the chemistry is properly on. 

So, this morning, masa dalam bilik air, tetiba dapat 1 idea. After I performed my Subuh prayer, suddenly I decided to delete my notes to him that I want to send to him during his birthday nest month and also something dalam IG which I tagged him. Semalam ke kelmarin I dah delete his number dalam my contact list but the whatsapp conversation is still there sebab kalau masuk bab-bab whatsapp ni sayang sikit nak delete. Tapi takpe sebab I pun memang malas scroll whatsapp read the history pun.

We see how.. weekend ni long holiday and I heard from my Mom yang baru borak dengan his mom pagi tadi that both of them will be going to Batu Pahat this weekend. Oh ya, he promised earlier secara seriousnya to belanja me but kita tengoklah macam mana..tapi, debar-debar juga kalau dia betul-betul ajak...

I just want to try my best to win his heart.. Seriously!!

I believed it is a magic...

Or in better words.. ini semua ketentuan dari Allah

I knew this guy dari zaman kecil..sama-sama mengaji dengan same Tok Guru... tapi kami sekolah lain-lain and samalah masuk U pun lain-lain. Both mum kawan baik. Lagilah his mum pun duduk tak jauh sangat dari my house. Nak dijadikan cerita, I never met him lepas kami khatam mengaji dengan Tok Guru kami tu. Dahlah I jenis tak bercampur sangat dengan budak-budak kat my neighbourhood. Pegi sekolah balik sekolah..pegi ngaji balik mengaji.. macam tulah kehidupan I dahulu. Ada lah main petang dengan budak-budak mengaji yang lain, but boleh dikira kot.. 

Back to this guy... I tau banyak jugalah pasal dia, from him mom juga yang rajin share stories about anak masing- masing. Dia kahwin I tak pergi sebab my habit susah nak pergi orang kahwin pun..I also know about his works, kids and last but not least his marriage problem too which memang I pun quite shocked jugalah masa tau. Bahagian dia, kan? 

Well, I rasa maybe more than 20 years kot, we did not meet each other and tak pernah terfikir pun to "stalk" (check sebenarnya) his FB. His image yang stored dalam my memory pun, his innocent look zaman kecil-kecil dahulu.

Nak dijadikan cerita, this year, on the 2nd week of raya, he came to my house for raya with his brother and his nephews. Mak dia pun juga ada. Terkejut jugak sebab after so long kan..and I pulak teringin betul nak jumpa dia..tapi bodoh betul sebab boleh pi melepak tak keluar bilik sampai sudah...uwaaaaa...I tau dia datang pun sebab my Mom bagitahu.

Pastu, it is like a magic..I tetiba macam interested sangat nak ambil tahu pasal dia. I try to find him dalam FB and I asked my mum to get his number from his mum. Mula-mula my mum tak setuju, tapi lama-lama tu okay pula. Ish, sungguh pancaroba betul nak dapat this guy number. At last, my FB message to his brother terjawab. Then, I start 'whatsapp'ing him.. Just cerita-cerita biasa je. I also told him I memang betul nak jumpa dia. Sangat.... 

Our conversation takdelah went smooth sangat pun.. ada lah juga buat I menyampah juga. But, kalau ikutkan hati, I memang nak text him everyday but I know my limit. Ntah dia kot meyampah pula. Dahlah he knew my family, macam tak berapa okay pulak I memalukan diri sendiri. 

Tapi, I can feel the magic. I boleh rasa that he is something to me. I dont know why. Since I also dah jumpa his IG, rajin betul I look at his face. Nasib baiklah besar gedabak sikit his picture.. Hahahah... When I see his face, macam ada ketenangan disitu. 

Well, I just want to try my best to win his heart.. Seriously!! 

Semoga Allah permudahkan urusan I ini... Aminn!!!

Dubsmash

Sana sini orang buat dubmash, and asalkan boleh semua nak buat. But these 2 Instagram accounts memang hilarious. Compared to others, I still rasa yang dua ni memang buat tali perut pun terburai. Do follow them if you have an IG's account.

https://instagram.com/faizdickievp/

https://instagram.com/ucopppp/

Ramadhan 2015

Ramadhan kali ini nampak macam I tak berapa menghayati. Rasa macam bersalah dan ketinggalan betul dalam mencari pahala sebanyak mungkin. Setiap tahun mesti berazam nak mengimarahkan Ramadhan dengan sebaik mungkin i.e. baca Quran sebanyak yang boleh and also memenuhkan malam dengan Solat Tarawikh and Qiyamullail..tapi this year, failed juga. First 2 weeks, sibuk dengan exam, presentation and submission for group project. Huru-hara hidup...tapi itu bukan excuse kan?  

By the way, masih dapat buat tarawikh walaupun 3 malam saja and managed to complete 2 surah Al-Quran. Bersyukur sangat-sangat, Allah masih berikan peluang to me untuk mencari pahala. Moga my ibadah mulai dari hari ini akan lebih baik dari sebelum ini.

On the other notes, the sister (ex-gf Mr.MM tu) dah accept my invitation kat Linkedin... Oh, gembira sungguh and I rasa a big relief. I told my Mom about it and she's happy too.. Yelah, mana taknya, dia pun tahu yang I banyak sangat bertolak ansur dengan Mr.MM. All the while, I terpaksa menahan perasaan sebab nak jaga hati Mr.MM - persahabatan yang gila. My Mom masa I cerita semalam pun been asking me about Mr. MM, did he still contact me or what. The answer of courselah "No" sejak dia marah I pasal his ex tu. Well, this year I don't plan to send him a raya wish. I know he will be alone macam tahun-tahun sebelum ini, but who cares. 

Ye.. he changed .. and I don't think he still 'keeps' me or pernah ingat yang I dulu pernah jadi kawan dia, time susah dan senang. Tak pelah.. maybe my contribution to his life hanya sebesar zarah je kot. But, apa-apa pun, if one day ditakdirkan Allah he needs me, I still can accept him dengan hati yang terbuka. Hidup ni pun kan macam roda. 

Salam Aidilfitri and Maaf Zahir Batin.

(Mr. MM is Si Tai Merah)

Need to move on

I have deleted all whatsapp screen shots yang gigih aku buat since day 1. Pastu hari ni, tetiba macam satu benda hempuk atas kepala yang asked me to MOVE ON. Sampai bila kan nak dikenang orang yang tak nak mengenang kita. Walaupun dah berbuih mulut si Cantik suruh aku lupakan this type of kawan tak guna, but I still have a faith on him. 

Ye, this is all about Si Tai Merah. Yang masih I simpan, his whatsapp / text messaging still dalam my phone, emails serta Gtalk / Hangout still there. Takpelah, bukan I rajin nak baca balik pun. 

After 3 years, I start losing my faith on him. Dia pun macam dah tak nak ada apa-apa kaitan pun dengan I dan kawan-kawan lama dia disini. Hemmm...people changed. 

So, I will delete the special entry yang I pernah buat 2 years back during his birthday. Being a person whom very good in number, I know I will not easily forget his birth date, but at least I will start forget him.

Next action, to add back his ex gf dalam my Linkedin list. (Did you know pasal ni lah yang meretakkan seribu or berjuta keping our friendship...so pas ni..lantak pi lah...) I know he will hates me more, but all the while my actions semua kena considered his feelings. Did he really considered mine? Tak pernah kot.

Well, his ex-gf is such a nice lady and I looooooooove to talk to her. Selalu dapat borak pun kat Linkedin message je. Tu pun after I had to remove her from my list selepas mamat tu bising..bising yang terus putus kawan... 

People changed...

Recently, AH is keep sending video ceramah agama and other Islamic media to me. Agak terkesan jugaklah sebab tetiba kan.. I nak buat jokes kat dia pun macam fikir dua tiga empat puloh kali kot.  Maybe sebab umur dia makin meningkat so makin banyak kesedaran diri...to improve himself to be a good Muslim. 

I admit yang I ni kalau dengar ceramah pun pilih ustaz... some of the vidoe he sent to I didn't know pun Ustaz tu..maybe tahu kot tapi sebab tak pernah dengar maka my judgement is tak best. But, looking forward mesti kena ubah kot. Must listen to all media he sent to me.. A good thing pun kan. 

I don't know lah, I missed him so much. Being a friend to him for almost 8 years (kalau tak silap), boleh tahan ni pun sebab the chemistry is there. Dahlah I ni susah nak rapat dengan orang...so, selama kawan mestilah banyak pasang surutnya..Dia pun dahlah jauh, added with his status yang not allowed me to lebih-lebih but I pun tak nak kot sebab I still respect and appreciate this kind of friendship. But, kadang-kadang my otak ni pun sampai boleh terfikir..."how about if AH ni my husband? Am I happy with him?" ish2..Ish..Ish...

Apa-apapun hanya Allah yang tahu apa yang terbaik. What I appreciate him most is he always try to find his time to meet me kalau dia datang sini.. 

AH adalah Darling BB. The rest of the initial will be changed soon kalau ada cerita pasal mereka.

Further study

I've decided to further my study after been resting for 12 years..eh, tak juga... in 2007, I am taking a professional course. So, kira rest for 7 years, sambung belajar, then rest balik then sambung balik. Last year, when my lil Sis nak sambung Master, dia lah yang sibuk-sibuk pilih program untuk I. Mula-mula memang tak ingin pun, but, kuasa Allah.. few days before nak dateline to get the PIN no. from BSN, Allah bukakan hati. Hari Jumaat pula tu. Terus call my Dad, minta tolong dia pi BSN to get the PIN no. 

Nama untuk my master program ni, canggih. And I sambung dekat university yang tak jauh dari rumah, I mean it just took me less than 1/2 to reach the place.. I was actually plan to further my study dekat UPM je, sebab UPM was my university masa I buat degree program, tapi sebab macam jauh and I memang tak nak sambung buat same program masa degree dulu, so the new university is my have-to-with-no-choice lah. Well, this new university ni actually okay je but some of them (my classmates) still carry the old mentality from their previous undergrad university. By the way, luckily most of the lecturer from different university and you know what I mean. 

Memula otak macam nak tepu sebab dah lama tinggal kan..but, Alhamdulillah, managed to get good grade. It is called power of reading and understanding the subject. Now, dah nak masuk 2nd year and I have a lot a lot of things to tell. So many things happened.. Subjects yang pecah kepala.. exam... your classmates, your team members... actually, semua benda okay, but as usual, when you are dealing with people... haaaaa...then you know how it goes... 

People..

People...

People....

People.....

People......

People......

Sometimes, kita-kita ni memang Allah bagi yang seronok-seronok belaka je before dia bagi yang tak berapa nak seronok..and sometimes Allah bagi yang tak berapa dulu sebelum dia bagi yang seronok. I rasa semua orang dah rasa... and we must take notes semua benda ni.

This is my not-so-new journey and I wish I can end it with a good ending. Insya Allah.

Adil? Amanah?

Adil?
Amanah?

I think it is so hard to have  pemimpin yang adil and amanah anymore. Tak payah sibuk dengan isu besar sekarang ni, cuba lihat depan mata sendiri. Adakah pemimpin kita i.e. boss or sesiapa yang mempunyai tanggungjawab terhadap orang bawahan dia boleh adil dan amanah?

When I was a Section Head in my previous company, I had 6-7 staff under my supervision and I admit it is so hard for me untuk berlaku adil terhadap semua. Memang akan timbul sikap favouritism but I am always in favour to my staff yang pandai buat kerja sebab selalu 'kecewa' dengan hasil kerja staff yang suka buat kerja sambil lewa. But still the favouritism is there.

Kat my current company, dah makin banyak perkara-perkara yang tidak menampakkan amanah oleh antara pemimpin-pemimpin di sini. Mereka ini diamanahkan dengan kuasa (of course bukan wang) tetapi selalu salah guna. Mata hati selalu tak boleh tipu. Memang boleh nampak what they did and what  they shouldn't do.

Apa-apapun.... kalau bab-bab adil dan amanah ini, kita boleh ubah. Ubah dari diri sendiri. Adil dan amanah itu bermula dari kita sendiri sebab benda yang kecil selalunya akan memberikan impak kepada benda yang besar. 

A Slanderer... A Drama Queen

For the past few days, I am facing an issue again with a slanderer. This time, basicnya masih sama. The slanderer was a person that I 'believed' I am close enough.

The same person that I told about in my last post. I don't know what is on her head until she can come to this idea.. this plan..

Why she becomes like that? Become a jealous person? Become such a person who is holding a huge grudge against me?

Is it all started from the 2nd presentation that lead to the failure of our group. She cannot accept the mistake which she is the part of the mistake = failure. Let me put her name as Ms.Brain. I admitted that she has contributed some to our group but not to my expectation. Mula-mula my partner always on her side (not 100%, but still some bigger percentage there), but to the ends, thank God my partner started to realize who she was.

She created so many dramas in our group (I called her Drama Queen), pretend to be the protector to the other members and the most I hate was she portrayed herself as a religious person, more than us.

During the last presentation, our group failed again...still because of her and the other team members. Can you imagine, how we want to survive if the burden only share by 2 members, which is my partner and I, rather than it is shared equally to other three? My partner and I have sacrificed a lot when we decided to take only 2 subjects for the semester instead of 4 like the others. We made the decision when we feel that the other 3, including Ms Brain can't give the full commitment and no extra effort to the groups after the 1st presentation.

Day by day, my partner and I become the victims to our own team members. They really take us for granted. We suffered a lot. A lot... Since my partner is a married man, you can guess what type of problem he had with his wife pulak.

Oh ya, back to the presentation... The accessor/ panel decided to give different marks to 5 of us. My partner and I got the same marks, but the other 3 much lower than us, which I think they should get much much lower than that.. huh!!!

And...then the big problem came. Ms, Brain did not satisfied and ask my partner (a team leader) to justify herself and the other 3 that they should not get that marks. They believed they should get higher marks, equal like what my partner and I dapat. .... banyak cantik kan... My partner tak layan, then she started the defamation part. She put all the blame on me..looks like I am the one who made a decision for the group walaupun all the while it was a collective decision. So the group failure is because of me. I read what she texted to my partner. I read it all and I cried (dalam hati..of courselah malu kalau betul-betul sebab my partner is sat in front of me) And memang tak sangka lah Ms. Brain berani sampai macam tu sekali.

My partner, memula malas nak masuk campur ..dah tried to ignore dia but when she started the defamation, keep bitching about me, he cannot accept it, because that is too much. I tau my partner tak sebelah sesiapa because he always said he was in the middle of everybody, but this time, memang he can't take it dah...

I tau Ms, Brain can't accept that I am heading her. I am not perfect but, the performance wise, memang she can't beat me walau pusing ikut mana pun. She knew the truth behind all this but, it is hard for her to accept it.

I hate to face this issue anymore, because it hurt me so much. So yesterday, I sent one text to her asking her to stop doing all the unnecessary things because nobody get the benefit from what she done before. The result = she removed me from her FB list and delete my no.

And...and...and...
Suddenly she sent me text asking for my forgiveness for what she had done to me so far. Hmmm... ni pun sbb nak final exam...Too bad...you are too late... I tak layan pun her text tu

Well, Ms Brain...
My prinsip senang je... I tak pernah kacau hidup you and too bad when you started to defame me. You think you can easily lepas pasal ni? I know I am not a good person, but when you did that, it is too much. You takut dengan bayang-bayang sendiri.

I leave it to Allah... I am not the right person to judge or punish you..

I will never easily forget a slanderer in my life. It is too late for you, Ms Brain.!!!