A passed birthday gift

AH promised me a gift for my birthday but he didn't. Even a wish pun tiada. Padahal beria dia note down before. I am a bit sad macam nak merajuk apa lah tapi bila fikir-fikir balik, lelaki memang macam tu kan. Dia bukan ingat date sangat especially benda-benda macam ni. He only remembered date for official meeting. Hemm, nasib badan.

This year, I decided to hide my birthday from FB. Mula-mula I changed the date to earlier date, then godek-godek nampak boleh hide pulak..Good idea..  I feel embarrassed sebab this year I rarely wish orang lain (my own friends) dalam FB tu sendiri, so rasa macam not fair if they wish me walaupun I tahu they make wish pun based on the notification received.

Lagi satu sebab, I tak suka my classmate wish me especially dalam our whatsapp group tu. Sebab ada few of them, semester ni macam sangat tak respect I as an elderly person. The girls lah. Boleh berani sound I depan-depan macam I ni kawan-kawan sebaya diaorang saja. Hemmm, tu satu nanti I make my own judgement why that person tak wish when she /he can wish to this person last time. Baik tak payah. Nanti lagi buat sakit hati je.

MM's whereabout

Last 2 nights, I had a bad dream about MM. Mula-mula tu mcm okay but end up I saw someone who is physically like him (from the back) hanging himself depan mata I. I rasa that guy tu macam selamat kot sebab beria-ia I jerit suruh orang nearby tolong selamatkan dia sebelum dia sempat masukkan kepala dia dalam tali tu. And too bad I tak tahu ending mimpi I sebab I dah bangun untuk pergi kelas. 

I rindu sebenarnya dengan MM ni. He is a good friend of mine before walaupun hujung-hujung tu, kami macam dah putus kawan. But as long as ada some communication within a year between us, I take it that we are still good. Maybe I ni sekadar hujung-hujung ingatan dia je..

By the way, since dia ni masih ada lagi I sebut dalam doa (walaupun dulu I decided not to mention his name in my doa anymore, but I lied). Mana taknya, susah lah. I tried... but setiap kali doa mesti terlintas MM ni dalam hati. And I tahu doa yang Allah makbulkan adalah doa dari seseorang utk org lain tanpa diketahui penerimanya. So, I rasa tak salah pun nak berdoa untuk dia. Moga dia sentiasa mendapat segala kebaikan, hidayah, rahmat dan kurnia dari Allah swt. Amin!! 

So, sebab I dengan MM dah tak macam dulu, I pun tak tahu how to check his condition right now. I tak rasa dia ada masalah kerjaya lagi since dia sekarang pun dah hold a senior top management post kat Company P. Masalah lain, tak sure. Rasanya macam tak ada. Sekarang ni, I rasa kalau I nak check pasal dia pun hanya boleh melalui 3 cara je (1) his Linkedin's account (2) his son's twitter account and also (3) his whatsapp status.

(1) Kalau ada Linkedin update from him >>> Alhamdulillah..he is stil live and happy at Company P

(2) If his son does not mention anything about him >>> Alhamdulillah...he is still alive and still in good term with his son (I don't follow his son tweet account but nasib baik dia tak private his account. Tapi macam nak follow saja nanti).

(3) If his Whatsapp status still ada latest status (last seen) >>>>> Alhamdulillah, his is still there.

Well, I didn't lah check on him all the time..cuma kalau teringat je... but, tipu kalau cakap I don't miss him at all. Anyway, semoga Allah membuka pintu hati MM untuk kembali melihat I ni sabagai seorang sahabat dia yang tidak pernah menghakimi beliau dalam apa jua keadaan sekalipun. Amin!!

Jerebu

Ini my friend bagi..Tak silap it was a signboard at Federal Highway

Ini dekat Perodua Glenmari, Shah Alam. My friend's office location

Ini from jendela of my office

Jerebu... this year is the second time, Malaysia kena haze yang sangat teruk. Sana sini semua orang sibuk pasal jerebu. But, some states, Alhamdulillah, tak kena pun. Kelantan one of them kalau I tak silap.

Well, cakap pasal jerebu ni, I remembered when it is happened last year. My office area is the worst during that time. Day by day, I am looking at web to check on the API level. There was an email sent to us frequently per day from the management. Updating us every 2 or 3 hours on the API level.

Nak dijadikan cerita, one day masa tu the API level was 300++, and it considered dangerous already. A strong smoke smell dalam office. The ex- Big Boss samada is taking 1/2 day leave or he went for meeting somewhere outside the office sebab dia keluar dah in the afternoon. Yang bestnya, he didn't allow us to go back early on that day. So, we need to stay until 5.00pm before semua berdesup balik awal sebab cannot stay longer. Yang I marah satu je, boleh dia minta staff dia checked on us samada okay lagi ke tidak around 4.00pm macam tu...so unprofessional okay. Nasib baik none of us ada critical illness..Memang Allah pelihara kami sungguh. Did he know bila bau asap dah mula masuk office, none of us can concentrate to do our job? We just counting time je untuk balik... Tak productive langsung pun..

I bila pasal jerebu ni memang akan teringatkan kat The Big Boss nilah..akan ingat sampai mati. His action pasal jerebu ni, somehow memang buat I menyumpah dalam hati. I tau tak baik, tapi I doa one day he will suffocated with the haze. Biar dia rasa apa yang kami rasa..

Pastu, lagi satu, kalau orang sibuk-sibuk nak kena cuti ke, sakit ke apa ke..I bagi apa tau "Alah, baru 100++ je API tu... kami last time kena stay when the level was 300++, tarak hal lah"... But, berani cakap pada diri sendiri je. Kalau depan orang, mau kena sedas balik..

Anyway, kalau boleh, just stay indoor when possible. Jaga kesihatan baik-baik.

My birthday is coming soon...

I kan dah lama kawan dengan AH, it has been almost 8 years. So, sejak I tahu bila birthday dia which is 6 years back kot, I never failed to wish him samada through email, text (sms) or whatsapp. Tapi, dia ni pulak tak pernah lah tanya bila my birthday which a bit sedih jugaklah. But, I tak kisah sangat pun sebab tahu lelaki kan selalu macam tu. For me, better dia tak tahu and tak wish dari dia tahu and lupa nak wish.

Well, since my birthday is coming soon, so first time lah I beranikan diri ask him for a gift. Hahaha, macam keji lah pulak sebabnya I sendiri tahu I tak suka dapat or minta gift. I prefer orang belanja makan sebab the treat is worth for money spend rather than beli I something tapi I tak suka. Kan ke lagi haru.

So, I am counting days now.. next je my birthday ni. Kat rumah, we just have simple celebration. Orang kat rumah already asked for Durian Cheese Cake from Secret Recipe so I dah janji nak beli. Semua tak puas hati dapat makan 1 sudu je masa my Lil Sis bought 2 pieces of Durian cake for my parents last time. Nak pau my Lil Sis again, kesian pulak. She already bought one whole carrot cake from Secret Recipe for my Big Sis birthday last month. Kopak beliau. Well, okay je for me to buy the cake for my own birthday, sebab my Dad already promised to treat us for dinner later.

Just skyping with my Lil Sis pasal ni. Sebab dah terliur bila cerita pasal kek ni, so we plan to buy it earlier rather than tunggu next week. Nyumssss!!!

New blog found

I am in love with one of new blog that I found when I read Ectopy's blog. Sama addict dah kiranya, everyday during weekdays time office hour, I without fail mesti akan buka ectopy's blog and same goes to this new blog. Ms.This-Is-Me punya blog. 

I suka baca blog dia sebab somehow akan bagi so called a motivation juga. I know she sat on one post kat senior management and she loves to share her experience when dealing with people. The Lil Sis also read her blog. Well, both of us normally will read the same blog sebab ada yang she introduced to me and vice versa. 

So, happy reading people :-)

My anniversary

Every Mid Sept will be my anniversary in this company. Suprisingly, for this year, MM sent a wish to my Linkedin to congrats me. Wah..I pun macam terkejut jugalah when receive it. 

Not sure whether he is already change (change mean = sejuk hati and matured) or I had came to his dream a night before as puntianak harum sundal malam and slapped his face... Hahahah....Which and which tak tahulah.. tapi, I ada mimpi dia earlier.. few times juga but it was a sad dream because he never speak any word to me. Sedih betul I.. He just look at me dari jauh and I did a same thing to him.. 

I wish I can meet him one day... You will never easily forget a friend who has been so kind to you before. You should not.. that's the exact words. 

A loooooong wish

Bukan main lama I prepare the ayat to send to KN sempena his birthday. Sampai ada text yang copy paste from one blog.. Nak send banyak-banyak ni bukan berani sangat pun..Takut tu pun ada juga.

Beria betul I ni...Sudahnya, banyak tu je dia reply... Hmmm... I think I am gonna stop lah wooing him for the time being. Dalam solat pun, I takde dah specific mentioned his name dalam my doa. Now hanya lintasan didalam hati je.. I tau kita kena berusaha tapi sometimes bila bab-bab yang melibatkan hati dan perasaan ini, amatlah sakit jiwa raga kalau benda tu tak seperti yang diharapkan.

The hope is still there but I don't want to make it as a priority. Sebab I rasa ada benda lain yang I rasa lebih penting) Well, kalau ada jodoh tak kemana (ayat penyedap hati ni...hahahahah)

Moga Allah permudahkan ..Aminn!!!